So, for now, I will remain confident in the system and in the professionals who are a part of our adoption. There is little else I can do. This is so much like running. Just when you think you can't run much more... you push yourself and you find a second wind that truly renews you for a bit more. The finish line is in sight. And again, like running... it's so hard to see it so close and be tired of running and want to reach the line so very badly. But in most every case... the finish line is crossed.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
I800 held up
Today is a better day than yesterday. I received the call on Tuesday, from the agent processing my I800. It seems I do not have everything I need to get the approval through. Yesterday it seems that the delays and the slow drag in this adoption caught up with me for a few hours. Luckily, I have a good friend who is a psychologist whom I could call. My big concern is the effects of these delays on Dina now that she knows of us. The orphanage told her we were leaving to go to work and would return for her. Obviously, that was not the best thing to tell a little girl. Can you imagine the first time we leave for work, for real? Anyway... my friend seems to think Dina will be just fine when it is all said and done. She believes there will need to be a bit of extra attention given to smoothing things over, at first...but that in the end, it will all be okay for her. Thank God!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
I800 being processed
I checked in on the progress of my I800. Looks like it was assigned to the same case worker I had for the I800A. She had told me she wouldn't necessarily be the person who got my I800 to process. I guess things have changed (go figure) and the same agent gets both forms. Anyway.. she is really tough. Luckily, before I sent the form I called to ask a few last minute questions. She happened to answer the phone that day. Which is VERY lucky. She is the person who told me what to write in the spaces I was unsure of. In addition, I asked my agency to provide more detailed info on their portion of the items required. So, I expect to get thru this quicker than the last time.
I can't believe that by the time I see Dina again, almost six months will have passed. Ridiculous!!!
I am just so dismayed at the time lapse. Certainly this isn't a good thing when trying to establish trust. Well, anyway... I'll report back once I get the actual approval and a court date.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
I800 Process/I864W
I contacted USCIS to ask a few questions regarding my I800 form. They do, indeed, require that all necessary forms/paperwork come in together as one. So please don't send any paperwork to them unless you have all required documents. They will just kick it back out to you. Think of the mail time that you would have waisted just getting things there and back. So, I am awaiting paperwork from my agency and I will be ready to mail EVERYTHING in. I know some people have been able to get things processed with mailing things separate, but I would caution any prospective parents to error in favor of safety... send things together.
I do think, that they may be a bit easier to deal with on the I800 than the I800A. I spoke with the agent I was assigned for my I800A. She is a very "by the book" person. I thought they would be looking for every dotted i and crossed t this time too. While I do need to be very careful and thorough... they won't kick this form back to me after two months just because I left out one word. Phew! Oh, by the way, on the I864W, be sure to have the parent sign the form who is the main account name with USCIS. Such as is my husband (even though I take care of filling forms out). Also be sure to write it all out in CAPS. The other advice I can give is... if in doubt... call them and ask. The agent's there are very helpful and understanding. I called and asked about everything I was the least hesitant about. I am not chancing getting things wrong like with the I800A. I am glad I called them. It was easy and I feel more confident about the form now when I go to mail it. Oh... I guess another mistake people are making is that on the I864W they are putting their info instead of the child's. Write the child's BIRTH name and information. On my I800 I had several listings (as will we all) for the expenses (page8). I copied several pages of this and used it to list things instead of using a blank sheet of paper and having to write the child's name etc as they instruct you to do at the bottom of page 8. I asked about this and was told it was fine to do. I also couldn't remember the name of the landlord we paid our rent to in Latvia. They told me that was fine too, and to just write in "landlord." So, see, how seemingly insignificant my questions were? But I feel confident that they will process this form the first time now.
Just a reminder... I am in no way a lawyer or immigration specialist... so it is up to you to do the same work I have done to be sure if you have any questions. I just hope to give other parents a little assurance that they will get through this. I do not want to be responsible for someone taking my advice and it not going as planned though. This is just what I know to be the truth in my case. Nuff said.
Oh, remember what I said in my last post about the timing of things? Well, this week we found out the area of my mom's lung cancer is looking suspicious again. If things would have gone according to my plan... I would be gone during her biopsy next week. Thanks to God and the universe... I will be here for my mom.
We are always one day closer!
Monday, March 30, 2009
Always Learning
So, just when I thought I knew the in's and out's of adoption... I learned today that I have been sitting for a week at home waiting on the necessary documents to complete the requirements for my I800... and my agency is suppose to send them. Oops! So, yeah, they are where they need to be and I just need to get my part out in the morning. I really have come to believe that each and every delay has been for a reason. Who knows... if I had gotten this in sooner, I may have had to travel and miss my nephews graduation. Or maybe I'll get a great deal on tickets because of the delay. I can't answer "why?" Only that the reason will be apparant before the end of this journey.
Tamara, the reason for keeping all your receipts is two fold. First, you do get adoption credit from the IRS. Secondly, the USCIS will ask you for every single cost related to your adoption... from copies to postage to anything else you can think of. I think that a ledger to itemize each month would be a great idea. Just separate things into categories and go from there.
By the way, did you sign with AAC? I sure hope so. Also, on the matter of the home study... remember that if you decide to go with a country that is under Hague agreement, you will need a qualified agency for everything. Even f you think you may not be adopting from a Hague country... you never know if you will change your mind... we did. I trust AAC beyond any doubt.
The home-study is not as grueling as it sounds. I have had two. Once as a foster parent and the one for our adoption. They were both very easy going and brief. The second one was the most intrusive. She looked in my closets!!! Other parents thought that was a bit silly. Do not have a spic and span home. Just have a clean, sanitary, comfortable home. Trust me, I have seen some homes thru photos that I can't believe past. But social workers are trained to see very bad homes. If yours is safe and clean and you have all the required items (fire extinguishers etc) you will be fine with whoever you choose. If you ever want to call me and chat, you are welcome. Just email me and I'll give you my number.
As for us, things are good. Carson had his MRI and the neurologist hasn't called. That's awesome. That means there is nothing structural that we need to worry about. Now if we can get his meds evened out before Dina comes home. See how the delays have worked out in everyone's favor? I would have been a basket case worrying about Dina and Carson if he was still having seizures upon her arrival.
Well, it's bedtime now. I have to get my form in an envelope and get it ready to mail.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Dina's Birthday Gift
I received a speciala email from our agency to let me know that Dina's paperwork had finally arrived in the US. The email was received on Miss Dina's 4th Birthday, this past Sunday.
Sure, it was sad to be away from her on her special day. But I can't help but feel it's okay to be away when we have the knowledge that she will be with her family for the next birthday.
Other thoughts... I keep finding myself sizing up other little girls. I am trying to keep myslef in check as to Dina's size. I remember how little she actually was when I first met her. All the clothes I seem to buy her seem so big when I bring myself into a reality check. Oh well... the good news is... she will grow into them and I will be there to watch her do such:)
In addition, I received an email from our homestudy agency to say they are closing up shop. I told you how good God is at watching over the timing of things. I have a friend using that agency also. She is in the final steps before submitting her I800A. I think she will be able to squeek out without needing much more from that agency too. It's hard to know who what or when with agency. I say it again... I feel there is no one better than About A Child and Victoria. Sure, there are several agency who are just as good. But I can freely and confidently say... we chose one of the best.
Well, the next step is filliung out the scary looking I800. I have it pretty much completed. I had to ask my adoption, friend, Linda for lots of help though. If you are adopting... rememebr to keep all your reciepts and it would be a good idea to log them into categories. You will need this info for the I800. Also be sure to have a current copy of your tax statement for the letter of support that you will be filling out.
Well, that's about all for now. I will post again when I send my I800 off for processing. That should be about a 20 day experience from what I've read on other posts. Then its the "official" court and another 30 day wait until our baby girl is home. Just in time for a great summer together:)
Sure, it was sad to be away from her on her special day. But I can't help but feel it's okay to be away when we have the knowledge that she will be with her family for the next birthday.
Other thoughts... I keep finding myself sizing up other little girls. I am trying to keep myslef in check as to Dina's size. I remember how little she actually was when I first met her. All the clothes I seem to buy her seem so big when I bring myself into a reality check. Oh well... the good news is... she will grow into them and I will be there to watch her do such:)
In addition, I received an email from our homestudy agency to say they are closing up shop. I told you how good God is at watching over the timing of things. I have a friend using that agency also. She is in the final steps before submitting her I800A. I think she will be able to squeek out without needing much more from that agency too. It's hard to know who what or when with agency. I say it again... I feel there is no one better than About A Child and Victoria. Sure, there are several agency who are just as good. But I can freely and confidently say... we chose one of the best.
Well, the next step is filliung out the scary looking I800. I have it pretty much completed. I had to ask my adoption, friend, Linda for lots of help though. If you are adopting... rememebr to keep all your reciepts and it would be a good idea to log them into categories. You will need this info for the I800. Also be sure to have a current copy of your tax statement for the letter of support that you will be filling out.
Well, that's about all for now. I will post again when I send my I800 off for processing. That should be about a 20 day experience from what I've read on other posts. Then its the "official" court and another 30 day wait until our baby girl is home. Just in time for a great summer together:)
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Feeling Better
So, I guess my last post was a bit "stressed." It's amazing how sleep can help one regain perspective. Truly, I can't complain about our adoption process. We have been blessed thus far. The cool thing is that no matter how much time seems to sit still for us... it's always been the right time for everything that's occurred thus far. So, I will be patient and know that God has our back:)
In the meantime... we are headed into week two of Spring Break at Carson's school. This too has been great timing. His epilepsy has been a bit difficult to control the past few months. So, we searched out a new Neurologist. He has proven to be a great advocate for getting our little guy back on track. Carson has a repeat MRI on Monday and has changed meds twice now this past week alone. Thus the increase in stress. He has gained weight which was probably the MOST difficult part of the process. His old meds just took the appetite out of him. He actually, for the first time in three years looks healthy and "normal" size for his age.
In addition to getting closer to getting Dian Dee home, we are in countdown till Robert comes back home. He and Veronika are expected back June 24th. Just in time for the 4th!!!!!
Lastly, I thik I committed the cardinal "no, no!" I had a pic of Dina here for my family to view. PLEASE, PLEASE listen carefully if you are adopting... DO NOT DO WHAT I DID! I am pretty sure I am being frowned upon by my agency right now for the action. So, I won't be posting any photos until our offical court date makes her legally our little girl. But you just wait!!!! I am looking forward to sharing pics of her at HOME with the whole family. Until then... I'll get some posted of our family now.
If you are a "peeper" to this blog, I would love to hear from you. It really helps to follow other blogs of adopting families. I'd love to follow yours too:)
In the meantime... we are headed into week two of Spring Break at Carson's school. This too has been great timing. His epilepsy has been a bit difficult to control the past few months. So, we searched out a new Neurologist. He has proven to be a great advocate for getting our little guy back on track. Carson has a repeat MRI on Monday and has changed meds twice now this past week alone. Thus the increase in stress. He has gained weight which was probably the MOST difficult part of the process. His old meds just took the appetite out of him. He actually, for the first time in three years looks healthy and "normal" size for his age.
In addition to getting closer to getting Dian Dee home, we are in countdown till Robert comes back home. He and Veronika are expected back June 24th. Just in time for the 4th!!!!!
Lastly, I thik I committed the cardinal "no, no!" I had a pic of Dina here for my family to view. PLEASE, PLEASE listen carefully if you are adopting... DO NOT DO WHAT I DID! I am pretty sure I am being frowned upon by my agency right now for the action. So, I won't be posting any photos until our offical court date makes her legally our little girl. But you just wait!!!! I am looking forward to sharing pics of her at HOME with the whole family. Until then... I'll get some posted of our family now.
If you are a "peeper" to this blog, I would love to hear from you. It really helps to follow other blogs of adopting families. I'd love to follow yours too:)
Friday, March 13, 2009
Venting
Okay, so I don't want to walk around complaining... so I am here to do it. My stress level is rising without a reprieve in sight. Last night I dreamt that Dina didn't remember me. She was calling someone else mommy. OUCH! I know it's basically in the bag... but the reality is, it's not over till it's over. The worst part is not knowing if there is some ridiculous thing tying things up. The paperwork we need is coming through the mail. Which means it could very well be lost. At least it would seem it was lost. I'm back to checking the mailbox everyday with high hopes of news. I realize God is working on my patience...BUT...this seems more about having introduced a little girl to parents and then taking them away for several months. It's horrible. She has to be wondering... or worse, forgetting.
In addition to the wait, is the lack of fellow Latvian adoption goers to compare things with. I know of Linda who has just traveled for court. She came home at the end of December and rcvd notice to leave in mid February. She had extra paperwork to get corrected and submitted before approval. So what the heck... it's been over a month for us and we haven't even submitted our I800! That's an entire source of stress in itself. The last time we dealt with USCIS, we had a delay of two months because of ONE word!!! The I800 is much more difficult than the I800A. I can't imagine we will squeek thru that one after the first submittal.
Even Brent is asking questions about the longer than expected wait. And everyone knows he has the patience of Job. I'll say it just to say it... we were told that there were no certainties with International Adoption and the time frame etc... Believe it!!! It is so true. And yes, it has been worth it. I wouldn't give up this opportunity for anything. But it's tough.
Tomorrow is March 14th. We left Latvia the first week of February. I don't know if writing that makes it seem longer or shorter. Either way... I miss her and I am ready for her to start her life with us. Thanks for letting me vent. I need to go to bed and hope my headache retires too.
In addition to the wait, is the lack of fellow Latvian adoption goers to compare things with. I know of Linda who has just traveled for court. She came home at the end of December and rcvd notice to leave in mid February. She had extra paperwork to get corrected and submitted before approval. So what the heck... it's been over a month for us and we haven't even submitted our I800! That's an entire source of stress in itself. The last time we dealt with USCIS, we had a delay of two months because of ONE word!!! The I800 is much more difficult than the I800A. I can't imagine we will squeek thru that one after the first submittal.
Even Brent is asking questions about the longer than expected wait. And everyone knows he has the patience of Job. I'll say it just to say it... we were told that there were no certainties with International Adoption and the time frame etc... Believe it!!! It is so true. And yes, it has been worth it. I wouldn't give up this opportunity for anything. But it's tough.
Tomorrow is March 14th. We left Latvia the first week of February. I don't know if writing that makes it seem longer or shorter. Either way... I miss her and I am ready for her to start her life with us. Thanks for letting me vent. I need to go to bed and hope my headache retires too.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Home
First things first, I noticed that my typing and grammar are way out in left field. In my defense, it's tough to type in a windowsill. I ask that you bare with me and ignore all errors. Please!!!!
We arrived home around 10pm last night. I figured that we lived the same day twice after crossing time zones. We awoke at 8am in Europe, which is about midnight at home. We arrived home at 10pm which is 6am in Europe. What a day of travel. We flew home SAS. I would highly recommend them to anyone traveling overseas. They have good leg room overall and great service. We tried to upgrade at the airport. Luckily we were unable to. I actually preferred the economy seats.
While we were at the airport, we met a French family who had been working with our attorney in Latvia. They adopted young sisters. We had actually traveled to their orphange the day before. I thought that was a nice send off from Latvia. It's the little things. The weather was very nice bot at home and in Latvia. Which mattered not to us, as we missed it in both locations. Boo. We woke today to overcast skies. I would feel like we never left Latvia had it not been for the dirty house awaiting me at home.
Today we are spending the day with Carson and playing whatever he wishes. So, it looks like I'm getting ready to go play with the fort we built. Carson and I like to play "guys" aka, battle with medieval knights.
I am anxious to get my photos downloaded and share them with you all. Also, we are on a time limit to decide about Dina's name. So, tomorrow, that will be the agenda (along with house cleaning). Dina would not have been our first choice in names. While I can't imagine not calling her Dina at this point... I think it best to at least explore our options before making it final. We know her middle name will be Dee, after my sister and my dad. Brent thought it was really funny to say for a nickname we could call her "Double D" if we leave her name Dina. He's always thinking! Then we thought of Nina... but thoughts of nicknmaes lead us to "ne-de" Oh, how much time we have had to think. Way too much!!! No need to worry. Actually, the final decision will be made after I talk to my buddy (a psychologist) about her opinion on renaming children at age 3 almost 4. I keep getting mixed answers from my other rersources.
Well, I am happy to be home and happy to be back with my baby boy. I will still post once in awhile to keep everyone updated on the progress of the next steps. Also on the name issue.
Hugs and happiness,Lisa
We arrived home around 10pm last night. I figured that we lived the same day twice after crossing time zones. We awoke at 8am in Europe, which is about midnight at home. We arrived home at 10pm which is 6am in Europe. What a day of travel. We flew home SAS. I would highly recommend them to anyone traveling overseas. They have good leg room overall and great service. We tried to upgrade at the airport. Luckily we were unable to. I actually preferred the economy seats.
While we were at the airport, we met a French family who had been working with our attorney in Latvia. They adopted young sisters. We had actually traveled to their orphange the day before. I thought that was a nice send off from Latvia. It's the little things. The weather was very nice bot at home and in Latvia. Which mattered not to us, as we missed it in both locations. Boo. We woke today to overcast skies. I would feel like we never left Latvia had it not been for the dirty house awaiting me at home.
Today we are spending the day with Carson and playing whatever he wishes. So, it looks like I'm getting ready to go play with the fort we built. Carson and I like to play "guys" aka, battle with medieval knights.
I am anxious to get my photos downloaded and share them with you all. Also, we are on a time limit to decide about Dina's name. So, tomorrow, that will be the agenda (along with house cleaning). Dina would not have been our first choice in names. While I can't imagine not calling her Dina at this point... I think it best to at least explore our options before making it final. We know her middle name will be Dee, after my sister and my dad. Brent thought it was really funny to say for a nickname we could call her "Double D" if we leave her name Dina. He's always thinking! Then we thought of Nina... but thoughts of nicknmaes lead us to "ne-de" Oh, how much time we have had to think. Way too much!!! No need to worry. Actually, the final decision will be made after I talk to my buddy (a psychologist) about her opinion on renaming children at age 3 almost 4. I keep getting mixed answers from my other rersources.
Well, I am happy to be home and happy to be back with my baby boy. I will still post once in awhile to keep everyone updated on the progress of the next steps. Also on the name issue.
Hugs and happiness,Lisa
Friday, February 6, 2009
Orphan Court
Today was actually a very nice day. We woke up on time and had a nice relaxing time before having to leave for the orphanage. Dina had a very difficult time getting to sleep last night. She obviously understood that she was leaving this situation. We had to pack her things last night. That didn't help. But over all, I think our attitude is what guided her emotions. We kept things very calm and positive. She is so aware of the world around her. If I had been sad and emotional, she too would have. It helped that once we arrived, there was a birthday party for one of the orphanage workers. She turned 80 today. Brent asked our translator about why someone would work at 80 years old. She said their pensions are very poor, therefore many people work until late age. I admit to having a selfish thought about her being there. I like that Dina is with her "grandmas."
The translator told Dina that we had to go to work but would return for her as soon as was possible. She didn't seem to thrilled, but not sad. She is such a big girl I think it also helped that she had a few things to show off today. She is so proud of the outfit I had on her today. Everyone made comments how American she looked... so international. Which, I found funny because we look at THEM as International. Dina also boasted about her new toys. We gave her big kisses and hugs and I told her she could go join the party in the next room over. So, the transition went great.
We left there for orphan court in the countryside. It is quite a long drive. Dina was born in a hospital in that court's jurisdiction, thus that particular court. I was so thrilled to be there again, though. I felt such warmth and friendship from the "judge." I wish so badly we could finish our next court date there. However, because we stayed in Riga with Dina, this is where we are considered t reside. Therefore, we attend court in Riga.
When we got to court, there were three ladies from the area along with the judge. They were seated at one side of the office and us, on the other. I felt immediately relaxed and welcomed by the board. After introductions, we were informed of a most pleasant surprise. Tow of the ladies on the board are actually familiar with Dina's mother! One is the teacher of Dina's older brother (7th grade) and the other a kindergarten teacher. I guess Dina has a sibling born in 2007 also. This little boy also was born with a minor birth defect. He is a bit behind, physically on one side of his body. But is rapidly catching up. Her older brother is on the exceptionally bright side of learning. We were told that the mother is an excellent, dedicated mother to her children. They said she is a very exuberant, happy person. They said she seems very stable in her life when you meet her. After knowing her a bit better, they learned of her childhood in an alcoholic situation. Therefore, she has some dysfunction from that life. She is a very nice and caring person, she just makes very bad choices in men. She is unable t work a full time job due to her youngest child being at home. She works as a shop girl and other small jobs. She is originally from Riga (as are Dina's grandparents). She moved to the country side about the time Dina was born.
As for Dina's father, they believe he is the same man who fathered Dina's younger brother. However, it is not stated on her birth certificate. Dina's last name is actually the last name of her mother's first husband. Dina's oldest brother has her mother's maiden name.
I admit that hearing the women speak of Dina's mother brought tears to my eyes. I thanked them for speaking so highly of her and for telling me of her. Okay, I was nearly full blown crying at this point. I just could imagine how difficult life is for her. I know she wants so badly to do better in her life and for her children. She just doesn't have the respect for herself nor the life skills to make a big change right now. I will pray for her and the children. I think that hearing her story also made me reflect on how hard single parenting can be. Lord knows that I know.
I asked the attorney about the laws governing information regarding Dina's past. The laws prote ct the adoptive parents only. They feel the adoptive parents have the right to know as much as is possible about the child's past. However, no information is given to Dina's family without our approval. I admit, if I could know her mother, I would in a second. But I know it would be too emotional for her. So, I will stick to prayers and keep track of her, if possible. Then if Dina wants to know her or her siblings, she will have the opportunity.
I am just really big on children being educated along the way with age appropriate information. It makes it so much easier to talk about when they are grown. It worked on Robert. There are times I wish he didn't feel so free to talk about things (sex questions)... just kidding. I love having my children feel questions and all topics are open for discussion. Age appropriate is the key.
Okay... so, as we were in court, the judge and the Kindergarten teacher both continued to say how close they felt to us. They could tell from the first minute that this was a good thing. They thanked us, again for taking Dina. I just can't say you are welcome. I feel it is just as normal as having a child. Just a lot more paperwork. I am absolutely, totally fond of those two women. They are so authentic and caring. I hated to leave them. I want to be diligent about keeping up with them and sending them reports on Dina. They gave us very warm hugs and we left. Me crying and them happy and approving our adoption.
They asked us what we felt about the Latvian adoption system. We both told them, emphatically, that it was above and beyond our expectations. They asked us to please tell others. I cannot... ever... say enough good about our experiences. The people of Latvia have been warm, kind, helpful, and very caring for their children. I can't wait to tell others.
After court, we ran an errand with Bruno to anther orphanage in the country. From the looks of it, on the outside, the orphanage was also very well maintained. A couple of children came out while we were there. I liked that they were able to go out to play as the other children in the tiny town. Normal as possible is always good.
Well, in closing... we are packed and ready to go. Yes, I am missing my baby girl. But I know she is in excellent hands. I know, without a doubt, that she is loved by those who care for her. Therefore, I can rest and keep moving forward towards getting her home (maja). Oh... I have to tell this one other thing... I had my video camera with me at court. So I asked the ladies if they would like to see Dina. Well... the only film I had on that camera were pictures of Dina singing on the toilet (which I found hilarious). I was so embarrassed and felt like some sort of sicko for a brief moment. I kept the camera up so her privates were indeed, private...but still...of all pictures to have to show them! I know they were fine, but OMG!!! They laughed too, thankfully. I'll send them a few more appropriate pics later.
Okay everyone. I have to go now and fill out some paperwork for Bruno to take to the Embassy tomorrow. Brent and I need to talk about Dina's name, as it is required for the paperwork. I am fine with "Dina" as I have used it for the past year. Brent would like to at least consider a few names. So, we will. We are looking at Nina Dee, right now. I'll let you all know the outcome on the next post.
Hugs to all!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Last full day with Dina for awhile
So here it is, Thursday. Today has been such a mellow, lay low kinda day. Brent hasn't been able to adjust his sleep since arriving. Which means he cat naps all day and night without much "real" sleep. Well, today we let him sleep until 3:30 in the afternoon. So, while he slept, Dina and I played quietly and went about our business. I let her watch the Baby Mozart DVD. She was really interested. I think the Baby Einstein videos would be a great addition to orphanages. Since there's no words... they work for any country.
I haven't quite figured what to expect from myself tomorrow when we leave her. I find I am in a "matter of fact" type mode. It is what it is. I think I will miss seeing her sleep and her silly grin most. Of course, if she takes it hard... then count me as good as mush. I have tried in my own way to prepare her. We fly the little airplane around and I make motions that Mommy and Daddy will go on it to maja (home) and then I show her a picture of the orphanage and tell her she will go there to her maja for now. We follow it with Mommy and Daddy coming back in the airplane and to her maja to get her. She actually seems to understand a bit. They are so good to her at the orphanage... it's like having several nice grandmas. I think I would worry more if she wasn't so favored there. But she is a superstar around that place. And around here!
But... back home is waiting Carson. I talked to him last night. He is sad and missing Mom and Dad. He has been ill with ear infections. That doesn't help. My mom and sister were great about handling everything though. That makes me feel soooooo much better.
Tomorrow we leave here at 20 till 10:00 to go to the orphanage. We then head to court on the country. It takes about an hour and half to get there. Then, our flight leaves at noon on Saturday. There's really not much more to today's thoughts than that. I just hope to enjoy the day as we have the last several. She is sitting here as I type. Daddy is up now so I think we will head out for our daily walk.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Brrrrr
Well, it's another cold day, here in Latvia. I admit that I expected it to be worse, though. I figure it's about 25f. It's not so bad except when walking to our fave rest which is several blocks. I want so bad to take Dina to the park. I don't dare though with her asthma past. She's been so great in spite of the limited sources of entertainment/activities. Basically, we do a lot of crafts each day. She will play in the "tub" usually twice a day. We read a lot of books to learn new words. She is still bringing me my phrase book when I don't understand her. So funny! We also play playdough and moon sand at least once a day. That's her favorite activity.
We are learning about discipline the past two days. She has "spanked" Mommy a few times. Then threw her toys in protest to picking up. The the issue came at nap time. Really, her tantrums are equal to about a second of naughty time, not much more. But still... I remember the training expressing how she will try to "test" me. So, we start with the stern look and talk. If that doesn't get it, we graduate to the "grounding" from a favorite item. She HATES that! So, it works great. She learned after the second time that we mean business. Then, she has to say "sorry" and she pats me where she hit me and gives me a kiss. Darn the luck. She is so adorable that it's hard to keep a straight face. She wants so badly to just play and have happy time. Which is about 98% of the time.
I was worried about her behavior and emotions about being out in restaurants and such. She does so good! We enjoy good food out and about. So it was important for a new child to be able to adjust to being with us. She is so mannerly and calm. I seem to refer to my pre-adoptive training quite a bit when introducing things or just in general. It has been great to have the knowledge to be able to assess if there are any issues we will need to be aware of. I don't think we will have to worry too much about attachment or sensory issues. But I won't be so quick to settle in. I know with my foster children it took a while before I could really tell what was what.
Well, we finally rearranged our travel plans. I feel somewhat guilty about leaving her early when I don't have to. But I think in the end... staying one week will be best in many regards. It's too tough, in the winter to be cooped up. I think it's also better to reintroduce her to the orphanage while she might think of our time as a special vacation. So really, my guilt is unfounded. I think it's important in this journey to live true to yourself and not second guess too much. Yes, I second guessed whether adoption was right for our family. I think to be fair to all concerned you must look at things over and over. But on the issues such as to stay one week extra or not... only serves to create tension. Go with your gut!
Well, Daddy has reached the end of his play time with little britches. So, I need to run and re-direct her behavior... which is deteriorating. Her fits are almost funny. They are so fake. You can tell she's doing it on purpose. Oh, a funny happening today. She is soooo proud of her scissors. I keep finding ziplock bags with the bottom or top cut off. Today, I found evidence that she had cut some sort of plastic bag. When I went to throw something away in the bathroom trash... I fund she had meticulously put a plastic bag, liner, in the trash can. A closer look found it to be an upside down, large ziplock (I think it was one that Linda left behind). I know how it is when people talk about their kids. I thank you for baring with my stories and amusements. Oh... I do need to share how incredible her "writing"is. She will take a piece of paper and make marks that truly look like letters. They are in neat rows, small and neat. It's very impressive for what I would expect from a child in an orphanage... much less, a three year old. She never stops amazing me.
Well, gotta go for real now.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Internet woes
I can't begin to tell you how difficult it is to get onto the internet here. I get one bar from some distant signal. Thus, the delay in blogs. The biggest problem with lacking internet is in rearranging travel plans.
So, today we went to the US Embassy to check into the process from here. I have always thought that when I would enter an embassy I would be greeted with a pat-down and super duper security. While it was efficient, I feel much safer with the security at the court house in Liberty. I wanted to see armed men with mean looks awaiting me. Instead, nice Latvian guards asked us to walk thru a scanner and then leave our cell phones with them. We did have to go thru 2 check points, however.
Here is what we found out... we learned tht before the I800 can be filed for, we must receive a letter from the Ministry here in Latvia. That will be mailed to Victoria at About A Child. Then, we attach that copy along with a few more translated documents (translated from Latvian to English). Once we recive the I800 approval, we can schedule a second court date. I will travel back for that date. Then, there is the twenty day mandantory appeals wait. During that time, we basically cannot do much but wiat. However, if we ask during our court date to take Dina with us for international travel, we should be able to get it. This means that she can come home if wanted. However, she would have to be back in Latvia for a trip to the Embassy before things could be finished. Otherwise, she would never get her citizenship. But I don't think that adding international flights to her life would be real good at this time.
After the court date to give us physical custody of Dina, then the 20 days... we are supposed to file for her post-adoption birth certificate, passport as well as obtain a physical from an Embassy approved physician. Our attorney said he is able to take care of this for us. So, we will then probably come back for the third trip 30 days after the second. I say "we." "We" is going to be me and my sister, Deanna. She will be a great help on the trip home. She and I will also travel a bit earlier to Europe (Slovakia) to see Robert and Veronika as I haven't seen them since July:( Then the work starts trying to get Veronika into the states on a visa of some sort.
The social worker, aka judge came here today at 10am. I must confess to this very close call... we all slept over today!!! Dina woke me at 9:30am with her usual... "Mama, caca." Thank goodness she did! She was eating breakfast while getting dressed, while I made the bed, etc... the judge got here right as we were brushing our teeth... phew! I could just imagine her asking Dina what she had for breakfast. Yikes! Of all the days to oversleep.
The visit went great. The judge spoke with Dina first. I guess at one point she asked her if she liked her Mommy and Daddy. Dina replied that "yes," and she wasn't going anywhere. That's my girl! By the end of the visit, the judge hugged me, several times, and said she found it an honor to meet people like us who would adopt a little girl with special needs. Apparantly she never met Linda... my hero!!!
I must tell of the afternoon we spent today. At nap time (conveniently), Dina needed to use the toilet once she settled into bed. So, I sat her on the toilet.... where she stayed for an hour and a half. Just when we thought we were done, nope! It's difficult for her to get things "out." So, this afternoon I fed her grape juice:) Hopefully tomorrow she will get a nap.
I want to emphasize how much I believe God has had his hands all over this adoption and my dream as a child to one day be here. EVERY choice we have made has been protected by HIS grace. Victoria, you will never know how very much we have grown to respect you. You have been EACTLY what you said you would be from the first day I contacted you. Which, was scary. It's like calling a plumber, but more important. You never know if you're going to get into something bad or not. So, you close your eyes and jump. Thankfully, we landed at your door. In addition, we knew it would be tough to have everyone we know understand this decision to adopt a girl, halfway around the world with special needs. Had my sister, Deanna not been supporting us from day one... this little girl may not have a home. It has been tough. But Deanna has helped us to keep our focus and assured us that we were deserving of this journey. I also couldn't have done this if not for my Mom being so tough as to over overcome stage 3 lung cancer this past year and being well enough to care for my baby boy. It was so tough to leave him. But when you know things are taken care of at home, it is okay to go forward. Finally, my adoption buddies, Natalina and Linda have been such amazing resources and comfort sources. Having Linda come before me has been so lucky. By the way, great minds think alike. I went to leave my Downy, fabric wrinkle release in the bathroom. But Linda had already left hers! Funny!
I hope you will all understand that this adoption is not about JUST Brent and I making this journey. This little girl, our Dina, has had angels looking after her.. you are her angels. Just as she puts the pieces of her puzzles together... we, including you all, have taken a sorted puzzle and each of us had placed a piece (or more) into place. There is no end to those who have "adopted" this little girl. We have all done this together. It's an honor for US to know the judge, the lawyer, the little lady at the orphanage, the doctor, the translator, the intake agent at our agency, the lady at USCIS, the lady at the post office who shared my enthusiasm each time I would mail a package of paperwork, my Rotarian friends, the girls at Starbucks (and guys) etc...
I guess you know what I am saying. Thank You is certainly not enough. But we do "thank you" for helping our family find it's way together. I have to go now. Brent wants me to check the MU score while I have internet service. KU is playing right now... I think I'll surprise him and tell him who wins that game too... that should be on the internet too:)
Hugs ,
lisa
Monday, February 2, 2009
Saturday, January 31, 2009
1st day/night
As I look across the room I see this adorable, three year old girl, dancing to some sort of Latvian or perhaps Russian music. I hope it's rated G! She has been , probably, one of , if not THE best behaved, most calm, friendliest, well balanced child I have EVER met. We can't get over feeling that she has been with us since day one of her life.
But day one for us obviously didn't start in a hospital, though it very well could have. Rather, we signed on the dotted lines to take her for the week and she was led into the room, prepared to go with... in her words... "mommy and daddy to go home." I tell you, she is smart. Otherwise, the orphanage has one heck of a prep program.
They sent her with a bag full of very nice clothes. Including six diapers and new undies! Once back to the flat, we settled into comfy clothes, slippers and then it began! Baby Alive, I am not kidding!!! I have changed A lot of diapers the past day, spent numerous hours in the toilet "getting it all out." and so on, and so forth. Needless to say, this is the hardest adjustment to make quickly. But one well worth making. It is odd to me that I haven't minded at all... not even after settling into bed three times just to keep getting back up and down. I was TIRED this morning.
She is over chatting with Daddy right now. The language barrier hasn't been an issue AT ALL! She is picking up a lot of English as well as communicating easily back to us in Latvian. I feel it is best to meet her half way right now. She was trying to tell me something last night in Latvian that I just wasn't picking up on. So then she clearly said "book" and then went to get my translation book. I tell you, this girl is SMART!!!
I have so much to tell... but according to her schedule, it is walk time. So, I will hope to post more at her nap time (if she cooperates today with this one).
Ciao for now
Okay, we are back from our walk, lunch and potty time. Little Miss Dina is (supposedly) taking a nap. I have caught her with the light on and a book. At least she has a book.
Brent ran to the store and is now back... being noisy. I bet I catch her with eyes wide open.
Lunch was nice. Seems to me that a small, anything, here is actually a super size in the US. Yikes! So Dina had a crepe and soup for lunch with a shake. Man can she put away the food. She finished all but half the soup. Again... they were huge servings.
It is soooo cold here today. After several layers, hats, gloves and a scarf, we were still cold on the walk. It is sunny, however. People here have been so friendly. I had expected them to not smile etc... They smile, they don;t mind us not speaking Latvian or Russian and are generally quite helpful. As far as a vacation goes... it is nice. There's not enough historical sites etc, to make it along vacation. But combined with other cities; it would be great. As for adoption, it is remarkable. I cannot say enough good to someone considering this country (or our About A Child) for adoption. We feel very lucky.
I am hoping to talk to Carson James later. Also Robert. Since we are leaving early, I am trying to convince Brent to visit Slovakia before leaving for home. Finger again crossed. It would seem silly not to visit more of Europe while here together.
Well, for now I need to go. Brent needs to work on the computer. I look forward to telling more adventures... oh, before I go, Dina has a bit of soul sister in her. She was a dancing queen at lunch. She seems to like a strong beat and some groove to her music.
Later, Lisa
Thursday, January 29, 2009
On Meeting Dina
So, today was not only my birthday, but one of the most amazing days of my life. It was so simple, yet so profound. I think my belief and faith in God just jumped to a completely unheard of level. To even think about this event is mind boggling. But to be a part of it... well, that is something completely different. I am so honored to have been chosen to care for this little girl.. a little girl, half way around the world... who I never would have met if EVERY single step had not been planned and ordained by God. Oh, and having a super star, adoption agency hasn't hurt either!!!
So, we arrived at the orphanage. It is a four story, limestone, stately building. As you walk up to the door, you can see a fenced, playground area with large outdoor, play equipment. It was the first sign that we struck gold. Out of all the orphanage, stories, of things that could be bad ... we found a clean, well equipped, well run, actually very lovely home for children. We entered the building and were asked to wait in the lobby area. The entire building smelled like wonderful, home cooked food. We hadn't eaten lunch so it made me VERY hungry. It was as clean inside as outside. There were a few, mostly older, women bustling about to and from. Soon, the woman who was standing in for the Director, escorted us to her office. There we were met by the orphanage doctor and psychologist.
Our interpreter assisted in relaying a short biographical history of Dina from the director's assistant, followed by the doctor and psychologist reports. I admit to having tears in my eyes when thinking of the good news we were given about Dina's condition. In addition, my heart felt full of amazement at the strength of her birthmother, who obviously very much wanted her... it seems she would visit Dina often for several months. However, she very much accepted that she could not care for Dina. I will always feel indebted to her for her selfless bravery.
Oh, before I move on... a little funny... when they told us the doctor and psychologist were coming into the room my first thoughts were... "what if the language barrier keeps them from getting a clear perspective of us during their exams of us?" Okay, so I was a little paranoid... it never dawned on me to think they were there to tell us about Dina! I chuckle now.
After the information session, we were led into the nearby room to meet her...Dina...
after one year of paper-chasing, one year of looking at her photo and telling it... as though she could hear me... "mommy is coming soon." Here we were... and there she was. It's such a surreal experience. Not overly emotional, just... surreal. My first impression was that she was so much smaller than I thought she would be. I had pictured her on the big side. Her hair was more blond and her eyes... a deep, dark blue. She was playing contently on the floor as we entered the room. We were introduced by the Doctor as "Aunt and Uncle to visit her." Then Dina was asked to shake our hands to say "hello." She did so, very politely...until she came to me. Then she ran into my arms and smiled as big as she could while hugging me. We were all taken aback. I swear to it... it felt to me as though her hug was recognition of my promises to come for her." I will never be able to adequately express this moment in my life. It was just as a birthing experiencing that only a mother and her child experience. Please know, I don't intend to leave my husband out of this picture... he was very much there with us... this was just a daughter and mother moment.
We played for a bit with Dina and then the doctor, came back for us to lead us to her office for a look at Dina's physical situation. Please know, we are just so thankful that things are better than we had imagined. I think this is one thing I picked up from other adoptive parents. I have read so many times how parents went on their adoption journey expecting medical conditions to be worse than they actually were. I just knew this was the case with Dina. This was something I researched and researched and spoke with doctor's about before the trip. All the research and conversations took me to the same place... we will have to see her or get more information to tell you more about the possible outcome. But I had this "feeling" from the first time I gave her a second look... I knew it would be okay. Again, thank you to God for the little ways He has of speaking to us.
Another very special moment came when Dina was coloring in the doctor's office. The doctor asked her what she was drawing and she said... "mommy." The picture was a black, mark of some sort... which DID look like me... I was wearing a black outfit.
Then, as soon as we arrived, we were leaving again... with hugs for me and then for Brent(yeah!!!), we left her for the day.
We then walked around old town Riga with Viktoria. I promise to talk more of the city on a future blog as this one is already so long. Needless to say... it is a city that was in existance since 1200 AD!!! So it rich with history and beauty. The fish market is NOT so beautiful. Great fish, but YIKES!!! They were some of the most odd looking things I ever saw. I just have to mention the half fish, half worm thingy...that was still ALIVE and trying to breathe without any water!!! It was even grosser than the kidneys and the livers and the other gross stuff down the aisle from it. Linda...you know what I'm talking about... Gross, huh?
Well, after a long drive to orphan court. we met with the judge and were granted permission to take Dina for one week to know her better and for her to know us better. We were expecting two weeks...so this was a great surprise. We feel this is so much better for all concerned. Of course, there will never be a good time to "give" her back while we finish the paper chase. But the wait will soon show us the glory in the entire plan... which includes the waiting time. For those who may read this and are yet to reach this point in the journey... please know, it's much easier if you keep living your daily life as usual and hope for the best. Of course... don't leave ANYTHING unknown...such as if your paperwork arrives where it should, when it should etc... ALWAYS follow up!
Well my kind readers, I need to leave for the evening. My husband and I are going to enjoy a movie. Of course, we have to watch it via the computer. Oh well, it shows us how much we DON'T need that we have back home.
Adieu~
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Finally in Riga, Latvia
Hello family and friends! Wow...what a long day. It's technically, the next day in the evening. But...It's seems to me it's still the 27th of January at about 8:30pm. We were able to get lots of sleep on the plane. We upgraded to the economy plus on United. Great idea!!! We figure it to cost as much as a very expensive massage with a big tip... something we would be in dire need of if not for upgrading. We have a few obstacles here. My phone is not working and my charger to my computer buzzes when I plug everything in with the adapters. I'll figure it out tomorrow.
The city is very nice. Very clean and trendy with many stores and good food just down the street. The apartment is great. Linda... thank you for leaving a few goodies behind. I won't have to blow up the beach ball since you left yours:) This apartment is in such a great location and so clean and comfy. Victoria did good.
So...what you are all hoping to hear about... tomorrow at a quarter till nine... Victoria will pick us up to take us to the orphanage. We will first meet the director and then... my baby girl. We drove past the orphanage on the way from the airport. It is such an odd feeling to know your daughter is there and you can't be there. Victoria and Bruno said most of the babies in the orphanage go from one orphanage to another after they turn two. Then onward at age four or so. Dina has been in the same orphanage the entire time. They said it is due to her medical conditions and the fact that she is soooooo smart. You have to love hearing things like.. "smart, helpful and friendly" when talking about adoption. As great as all that is... I am very sad to know I will be a part of "taking" her from the only family she has ever known. I know it is the best thing for her. But I think we can all agree.. we are not use to tearing kids away from those they love as though kidnapping. For all she can understand, it is just that. I hope all reading this will pray for her and for her caregivers in addition to us over this very tough situation.
I am not going to post long tonight as we tomorrow is such a big day. She will really cry if some weird woman shows up with scary dark circles under her eyes! I'm also a bit worried that I will lose the email contact before getting to email you all the address of this blog. So for tonight... goodnight.
Deanna, tell my baby boy his mommy loves him. I'll get photos out tomorrow if possibe.
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