I800 held up

Today is a better day than yesterday.  I received the call on Tuesday, from the agent processing my I800.  It seems I do not have everything I need to get the approval through.  Yesterday it seems that the delays and the slow drag in this adoption caught up with me for a few hours.  Luckily, I have a good friend who is a psychologist whom I could call.  My big concern is the effects of these delays on Dina now that she knows of us.  The orphanage told her we were leaving to go to work and would return for her. Obviously, that was not the best thing to tell a little girl.  Can you imagine the first time we leave for work, for real?  Anyway... my friend seems to think Dina will be just fine when it is all said and done.  She believes there will need to be a bit of extra attention given to smoothing things over, at first...but that in the end, it will all be okay for her.  Thank God!

So, for now, I will remain confident in the system and in the professionals who are a part of our adoption.  There is little else I can do.   This is so much like running.  Just when you think you can't run much more... you push yourself and you find a second wind that truly renews you for a bit more.  The finish line is in sight.  And again, like running... it's so hard to see it so close and be tired of running and want to reach the line so very badly.  But in most every case... the finish line is crossed.  

I800 being processed

I checked in on the progress of my I800.  Looks like it was assigned to the same case worker I had for the I800A.  She had told me she wouldn't necessarily be the person who got my I800 to process.  I guess things have changed (go figure) and the same agent gets both forms.  Anyway.. she is really tough.  Luckily, before I sent the form I called to ask a few last minute questions.  She happened to answer the phone that day.  Which is VERY lucky.  She is the person who told me what to write in the spaces I was unsure of.  In addition, I asked my agency to provide more detailed info on their portion of the items required.  So, I expect to get thru this quicker than the last time.

I can't believe that by the time I see Dina again, almost six months will have passed. Ridiculous!!!

I am just so dismayed at the time lapse.  Certainly this isn't a good thing when trying to establish trust.  Well, anyway... I'll report back once I get the actual approval and a court date.

I800 Process/I864W

I contacted USCIS to ask a few questions regarding my I800 form.  They do, indeed, require that all necessary forms/paperwork come in together as one.  So please don't send any paperwork to them unless you have all required documents.  They will just kick it back out to you.  Think of the mail time that you would have waisted just getting things there and back.  So, I am awaiting paperwork from my agency and I will be ready to mail EVERYTHING in.  I know some people have been able to get things processed with mailing things separate, but I would caution any prospective parents to error in favor of safety... send things together.  

I do think, that they may be a bit easier to deal with on the I800 than the I800A.  I spoke with the agent I was assigned for my I800A.  She is a very "by the book" person.  I thought they would be looking for every dotted i and crossed t this time too.  While I do need to be very careful and thorough... they won't kick this form back to me after two months just because I left out one word.  Phew!  Oh, by the way, on the I864W, be sure to have the parent sign the form who is the main account name with USCIS.  Such as is my husband (even though I take care of filling forms out).  Also be sure to write it all out in CAPS.  The other advice I can give is... if in doubt... call them and ask.  The agent's there are very helpful and understanding.  I called and asked about everything I was the least hesitant about.  I am not chancing getting things wrong like with the I800A.  I am glad I called them.  It was easy and I feel more confident about the form now when I go to mail it.  Oh... I guess another mistake people are making is that on the I864W they are putting their info instead of the child's.  Write the child's BIRTH name and information.  On my I800 I had several listings (as will we all) for the expenses (page8).  I copied several pages of this and used it to list things instead of using a blank sheet of paper and having to write the child's name etc as they instruct you to do at the bottom of page 8.  I asked about this and was told it was fine to do.  I also couldn't remember the name of the landlord we paid our rent to in Latvia.  They told me that was fine too, and to just write in "landlord."  So, see, how seemingly insignificant my questions were?  But I feel confident that they will process this form the first time now.

Just a reminder... I am in no way a lawyer or immigration specialist... so it is up to you to do the same work I have done to be sure if you have any questions.  I just hope to give other parents a little assurance that they will get through this.  I do not want to be responsible for someone taking my advice and it not going as planned though.  This is just what I know to be the truth in my case.  Nuff said.  

Oh, remember what I said in my last post about the timing of things?  Well, this week we found out the area of my mom's lung cancer is looking suspicious again.  If things would have gone according to my plan... I would be gone during her biopsy next week.  Thanks to God and the universe... I will be here for my mom.

We are always one day  closer!

Always Learning

So, just when I thought I knew the in's and out's of adoption... I learned today that I have been sitting for a week at home waiting on the necessary documents to complete the requirements for my I800... and my agency is suppose to send them.  Oops!  So, yeah, they are where they need to be and I just need to get my part out in the morning.  I really have come to believe that each and every delay has been for a reason.  Who knows... if I had gotten this in sooner, I may have had to travel and miss my nephews graduation.  Or maybe I'll get a great deal on tickets because of the delay.  I can't answer "why?" Only that the reason will be apparant before the end of this journey.  

Tamara, the reason for keeping all your receipts is two fold.  First, you do get adoption credit from the IRS.  Secondly, the USCIS will ask you for every single cost related to your adoption... from copies to postage to anything else you can think of.  I think that a ledger to itemize each month would be a great idea.  Just separate things into categories and go from there.  

By the way, did you sign with AAC?  I sure hope so.  Also, on the matter of the home study... remember that if you decide to go with a country that is under Hague agreement, you will need a qualified agency for everything.  Even f you think you may not be adopting from a Hague country... you never know if you will change your mind... we did.   I trust AAC beyond any doubt.  

The home-study is not as grueling as it sounds.  I have had two.  Once as a foster parent and the one for our adoption.  They were both very easy going and brief.  The second one was the most intrusive.  She looked in my closets!!!  Other parents thought that was a bit silly.  Do not have a spic and span home.  Just have a clean, sanitary, comfortable home.  Trust me, I have seen some homes thru photos that I can't believe past.  But social workers are trained to see very bad homes.  If yours is safe and clean and you have all  the required items (fire extinguishers etc) you will be fine with whoever you choose.  If you ever want to call me and chat, you are welcome.  Just email me and I'll give you my number.

As for us, things are good.  Carson had his MRI and the neurologist hasn't called.  That's awesome.  That means there is nothing structural that we need to worry about.  Now if we can get his meds evened out before Dina comes home.  See how the delays have worked out in everyone's favor?  I would have been a basket case worrying about Dina and Carson if he was still having seizures upon her arrival.  

Well, it's bedtime now.  I have to get my form in an envelope and get it ready to mail.  

Dina's Birthday Gift

I received a speciala email from our agency to let me know that Dina's paperwork had finally arrived in the US. The email was received on Miss Dina's 4th Birthday, this past Sunday.

Sure, it was sad to be away from her on her special day. But I can't help but feel it's okay to be away when we have the knowledge that she will be with her family for the next birthday.

Other thoughts... I keep finding myself sizing up other little girls. I am trying to keep myslef in check as to Dina's size. I remember how little she actually was when I first met her. All the clothes I seem to buy her seem so big when I bring myself into a reality check. Oh well... the good news is... she will grow into them and I will be there to watch her do such:)

In addition, I received an email from our homestudy agency to say they are closing up shop. I told you how good God is at watching over the timing of things. I have a friend using that agency also. She is in the final steps before submitting her I800A. I think she will be able to squeek out without needing much more from that agency too. It's hard to know who what or when with agency. I say it again... I feel there is no one better than About A Child and Victoria. Sure, there are several agency who are just as good. But I can freely and confidently say... we chose one of the best.

Well, the next step is filliung out the scary looking I800. I have it pretty much completed. I had to ask my adoption, friend, Linda for lots of help though. If you are adopting... rememebr to keep all your reciepts and it would be a good idea to log them into categories. You will need this info for the I800. Also be sure to have a current copy of your tax statement for the letter of support that you will be filling out.

Well, that's about all for now. I will post again when I send my I800 off for processing. That should be about a 20 day experience from what I've read on other posts. Then its the "official" court and another 30 day wait until our baby girl is home. Just in time for a great summer together:)

Feeling Better

So, I guess my last post was a bit "stressed." It's amazing how sleep can help one regain perspective. Truly, I can't complain about our adoption process. We have been blessed thus far. The cool thing is that no matter how much time seems to sit still for us... it's always been the right time for everything that's occurred thus far. So, I will be patient and know that God has our back:)

In the meantime... we are headed into week two of Spring Break at Carson's school. This too has been great timing. His epilepsy has been a bit difficult to control the past few months. So, we searched out a new Neurologist. He has proven to be a great advocate for getting our little guy back on track. Carson has a repeat MRI on Monday and has changed meds twice now this past week alone. Thus the increase in stress. He has gained weight which was probably the MOST difficult part of the process. His old meds just took the appetite out of him. He actually, for the first time in three years looks healthy and "normal" size for his age.

In addition to getting closer to getting Dian Dee home, we are in countdown till Robert comes back home. He and Veronika are expected back June 24th. Just in time for the 4th!!!!!

Lastly, I thik I committed the cardinal "no, no!" I had a pic of Dina here for my family to view. PLEASE, PLEASE listen carefully if you are adopting... DO NOT DO WHAT I DID! I am pretty sure I am being frowned upon by my agency right now for the action. So, I won't be posting any photos until our offical court date makes her legally our little girl. But you just wait!!!! I am looking forward to sharing pics of her at HOME with the whole family. Until then... I'll get some posted of our family now.

If you are a "peeper" to this blog, I would love to hear from you. It really helps to follow other blogs of adopting families. I'd love to follow yours too:)

Venting

Okay, so I don't want to walk around complaining... so I am here to do it. My stress level is rising without a reprieve in sight. Last night I dreamt that Dina didn't remember me. She was calling someone else mommy. OUCH! I know it's basically in the bag... but the reality is, it's not over till it's over. The worst part is not knowing if there is some ridiculous thing tying things up. The paperwork we need is coming through the mail. Which means it could very well be lost. At least it would seem it was lost. I'm back to checking the mailbox everyday with high hopes of news. I realize God is working on my patience...BUT...this seems more about having introduced a little girl to parents and then taking them away for several months. It's horrible. She has to be wondering... or worse, forgetting.

In addition to the wait, is the lack of fellow Latvian adoption goers to compare things with. I know of Linda who has just traveled for court. She came home at the end of December and rcvd notice to leave in mid February. She had extra paperwork to get corrected and submitted before approval. So what the heck... it's been over a month for us and we haven't even submitted our I800! That's an entire source of stress in itself. The last time we dealt with USCIS, we had a delay of two months because of ONE word!!! The I800 is much more difficult than the I800A. I can't imagine we will squeek thru that one after the first submittal.

Even Brent is asking questions about the longer than expected wait. And everyone knows he has the patience of Job. I'll say it just to say it... we were told that there were no certainties with International Adoption and the time frame etc... Believe it!!! It is so true. And yes, it has been worth it. I wouldn't give up this opportunity for anything. But it's tough.

Tomorrow is March 14th. We left Latvia the first week of February. I don't know if writing that makes it seem longer or shorter. Either way... I miss her and I am ready for her to start her life with us. Thanks for letting me vent. I need to go to bed and hope my headache retires too.