Home

First things first, I noticed that my typing and grammar are way out in left field. In my defense, it's tough to type in a windowsill. I ask that you bare with me and ignore all errors. Please!!!!

We arrived home around 10pm last night. I figured that we lived the same day twice after crossing time zones. We awoke at 8am in Europe, which is about midnight at home. We arrived home at 10pm which is 6am in Europe. What a day of travel. We flew home SAS. I would highly recommend them to anyone traveling overseas. They have good leg room overall and great service. We tried to upgrade at the airport. Luckily we were unable to. I actually preferred the economy seats.

While we were at the airport, we met a French family who had been working with our attorney in Latvia. They adopted young sisters. We had actually traveled to their orphange the day before. I thought that was a nice send off from Latvia. It's the little things. The weather was very nice bot at home and in Latvia. Which mattered not to us, as we missed it in both locations. Boo. We woke today to overcast skies. I would feel like we never left Latvia had it not been for the dirty house awaiting me at home.

Today we are spending the day with Carson and playing whatever he wishes. So, it looks like I'm getting ready to go play with the fort we built. Carson and I like to play "guys" aka, battle with medieval knights.

I am anxious to get my photos downloaded and share them with you all. Also, we are on a time limit to decide about Dina's name. So, tomorrow, that will be the agenda (along with house cleaning). Dina would not have been our first choice in names. While I can't imagine not calling her Dina at this point... I think it best to at least explore our options before making it final. We know her middle name will be Dee, after my sister and my dad. Brent thought it was really funny to say for a nickname we could call her "Double D" if we leave her name Dina. He's always thinking! Then we thought of Nina... but thoughts of nicknmaes lead us to "ne-de" Oh, how much time we have had to think. Way too much!!! No need to worry. Actually, the final decision will be made after I talk to my buddy (a psychologist) about her opinion on renaming children at age 3 almost 4. I keep getting mixed answers from my other rersources.

Well, I am happy to be home and happy to be back with my baby boy. I will still post once in awhile to keep everyone updated on the progress of the next steps. Also on the name issue.
Hugs and happiness,Lisa

Orphan Court

Today was actually a very nice day.  We woke up on time and had a nice relaxing time before having to leave for the orphanage.  Dina had a very difficult time getting to sleep last night.  She obviously understood that she was leaving this situation.  We had to pack her things last night.  That didn't help.  But over all, I think our attitude is what guided her emotions.  We kept things very calm and positive.  She is so aware of the world around her.  If I had been sad and emotional, she too would have.  It helped that once we arrived, there was a birthday party for one of the orphanage workers.  She turned 80 today.  Brent asked our translator about why someone would work at 80 years old.  She said their pensions are very poor, therefore many people work until late age.  I admit to having a selfish thought about her being there.  I like that Dina is with her "grandmas."  

The translator told Dina that we had to go to work but would return for her as soon as was possible.  She didn't seem to thrilled, but not sad.  She is such a big girl  I think it also helped that she had a few things to show off today. She is so proud of the outfit I had on her today.  Everyone made comments how American she looked... so international.  Which, I found funny because we look at THEM as International.  Dina also boasted about her new toys.  We gave her big kisses and hugs and I told her she could go join the party in the next room over.  So, the transition went great.  

We left there for orphan court in the countryside.  It is quite a long drive.  Dina was born in a hospital in that court's jurisdiction, thus that particular court.  I was so thrilled to be there again, though.  I felt such warmth and friendship from the "judge."  I wish so badly we could finish our next court date there.  However, because we stayed in Riga with Dina, this is where we are considered t reside.  Therefore, we attend court in Riga.  

When we got to court, there were three ladies from the  area along with the judge.  They were seated at one side of the office and us, on the other.  I felt immediately relaxed and welcomed by the board.  After introductions, we were informed of a most pleasant surprise.  Tow of the ladies on the board are actually familiar with Dina's mother!  One is the teacher of Dina's older brother (7th grade) and the other a kindergarten teacher.  I guess Dina has a sibling born in 2007 also.   This little boy also was born with a minor birth defect.  He is a bit behind, physically on one side of his body.  But is rapidly catching up.  Her older brother is on the exceptionally bright side of learning.  We were told that the mother is an excellent, dedicated mother to her children.  They said she is a very exuberant, happy person.  They said she seems very stable in her life when you meet her.  After knowing her a bit better, they learned of her childhood in an alcoholic situation.  Therefore, she has some dysfunction from that life.  She is a very nice and caring person, she just makes very bad choices in men.  She is unable t work a full time job due to her youngest child being at home.  She works as a shop girl and other small jobs.  She is originally from Riga (as are Dina's grandparents).  She moved to the country side about the time Dina was born.  

As for Dina's father, they believe he is the same man who fathered Dina's younger brother.  However, it is not stated on her birth certificate.  Dina's last name is actually the last name of her mother's first husband.  Dina's oldest brother has her mother's maiden name.

I admit that hearing the women speak of Dina's mother brought tears to my eyes.  I thanked them for speaking so highly of her and for telling me of her.  Okay, I was nearly full blown crying at this point.  I just could imagine how difficult life is for her.  I know she wants so badly to do better in her life and for her children.  She just doesn't have the respect for herself nor the life skills to make a big change right now.  I will pray for her and the children.  I think that hearing her story also made me reflect on how hard single parenting can be.  Lord knows that I know.  

I asked the attorney about the laws governing information regarding Dina's past.  The laws prote ct the adoptive parents only.  They feel the adoptive parents have the right to know as much as is possible about the child's past.  However, no information is given to Dina's family without our approval.  I admit, if I could know her mother, I would in a second.  But I know it would be too emotional for her.  So, I will stick to prayers and keep track of her, if possible.  Then if Dina wants to know her or her siblings, she will have the opportunity.  

I am just really big on children being educated along the way with age appropriate information.  It makes it so much easier to talk about when they are grown.  It worked on Robert.  There are times I wish he didn't feel so free to talk about things (sex questions)...  just kidding.  I love having my children feel questions and all topics are open for discussion.  Age appropriate is the key.  

Okay... so, as we were in court, the judge and the Kindergarten teacher both continued to say how close they felt to us.  They could tell from the first minute that this was a good thing.  They thanked us, again for taking Dina.  I just can't say you are welcome.  I feel it is just as normal as having a child.  Just a lot more paperwork.  I am absolutely, totally fond of those two women.  They are so authentic and caring.  I hated to leave them.  I want to be diligent about keeping up with them and sending them reports on Dina.  They gave us very warm hugs and we left.  Me crying and them happy and approving our adoption.  

They asked us what we felt about the Latvian adoption system.  We both told them, emphatically, that it was above and beyond our expectations.  They asked us to please tell others.  I cannot... ever... say enough good about our experiences.  The people of Latvia have been warm, kind, helpful, and very caring for their children.  I can't wait to tell others.  

After court, we ran an errand with Bruno to anther orphanage in the country.  From the looks of it, on the outside, the orphanage was also very well maintained.  A couple of children came out while we were there.  I liked that they were able to go out to play as the other children in the tiny town.  Normal as possible is always good.  

Well, in closing... we are packed and ready to go.  Yes, I am missing my baby girl.  But I know she is in excellent hands.  I know, without a doubt, that she is loved by those who care for her.  Therefore, I can rest and keep moving forward towards getting her home (maja).  Oh... I have to tell this one other thing... I had my video camera with me at court.  So I asked the ladies if they would like to see Dina.  Well...  the only film I had on that camera were pictures of Dina singing on the toilet (which I found hilarious).  I was so embarrassed and felt like some sort of sicko for a brief moment.  I kept the camera up so her privates were indeed, private...but still...of all pictures to have to show them!  I know they were fine, but OMG!!!  They laughed too, thankfully.  I'll send them a few more appropriate pics later.

Okay everyone.  I have to go now and fill out some paperwork for Bruno  to take to the Embassy tomorrow.  Brent and I need to talk about Dina's name, as it is required for the paperwork.  I am fine with "Dina" as I have used it for the past year.  Brent would like to at least consider a few names.  So, we will.  We are looking at Nina Dee, right now.  I'll let you all know the outcome on the next post.  

Hugs to all!

Last full day with Dina for awhile

So here it is, Thursday.  Today has been such a mellow, lay low kinda day.  Brent hasn't been able to adjust his sleep since arriving.  Which means he cat naps all day and night without much "real" sleep.  Well, today we let him sleep until 3:30 in the afternoon.  So, while he slept, Dina and I played quietly and went about our business.  I let her watch the Baby Mozart DVD.  She was really interested.  I think the Baby Einstein videos would be a great addition to orphanages.  Since there's no words... they work for any country.  

I haven't quite figured what to expect from myself tomorrow when we leave her.  I find I am in a "matter of fact" type mode.  It is what it is.  I think I will miss seeing her sleep and her silly grin most.  Of course, if she takes it hard... then count me as good as mush.  I have tried in my own way to prepare her.  We fly the little airplane around and I make motions that Mommy and Daddy will go on it to maja (home) and then I show her a picture of the orphanage and tell her she will go there to her maja for now.  We follow it with Mommy and Daddy coming back in the airplane and to her maja to get her.  She actually seems to understand a bit.   They are so good to her at the orphanage... it's like having several nice grandmas.  I think I would worry more if she wasn't so favored there.  But she is a superstar around that place.  And around here!

But... back home is waiting Carson.  I talked to him last night.  He is sad and missing Mom and Dad.  He has been ill with ear infections.  That doesn't help.  My mom and sister were great about handling everything though.  That makes me feel soooooo much better.  

Tomorrow we leave here at 20 till 10:00 to go to the orphanage.  We then head to court on the country.  It takes about an hour and half to get there.  Then, our flight leaves at noon on Saturday.  There's really not much more to today's thoughts than that.  I just hope to enjoy the day as we have the last several.  She is sitting here as I type.  Daddy is up now so I think we will head out for our daily walk.  

Brrrrr

Well, it's another cold day, here in Latvia.  I admit that I expected it to be worse, though.  I figure it's about 25f.  It's not so bad except when walking to our fave rest which is several blocks.  I want so bad to take Dina to the park.  I don't dare though with her asthma past.  She's been so great in spite of the limited sources of entertainment/activities.  Basically, we do a lot of crafts each day.  She will play in the "tub" usually twice a day.  We read a lot of books to learn new words.  She is still bringing me my phrase book when I don't understand her.  So funny!  We also play playdough and moon sand at least once a day.  That's her favorite activity.  

We are learning about discipline the past two days.  She has "spanked" Mommy a few times.  Then threw her toys in protest to picking up.  The the issue came at nap time.  Really, her tantrums are equal to about a second of naughty time, not much more.  But still... I remember the training expressing how she will try to "test" me.   So, we start with the stern look and talk.  If that doesn't get it, we graduate to the "grounding" from a favorite item.  She HATES that!  So, it works great.  She learned after the second time that we mean business.  Then, she has to say "sorry" and she pats me where she hit me and gives me a kiss.  Darn the luck.  She is so adorable that it's hard to keep a straight face.  She wants so badly to just play and have happy time.   Which is about 98% of the time.  

I was worried about her behavior and emotions about being out in restaurants and such.  She does so good!  We enjoy good food out and about.  So it was important for a new child to be able to adjust to being with us.  She is so mannerly and calm.  I seem to refer to my pre-adoptive training quite a bit when introducing things or just in general.  It has been great to have the knowledge to be able to assess if there are any issues we will need to be aware of.  I don't think we will have to worry too much about attachment or sensory issues.  But I won't be so quick to settle in.  I know with my foster children it took a while before I could really tell what was what.  

Well, we finally rearranged our travel plans.  I feel somewhat guilty about leaving her early when I don't have to.  But I think in the end... staying one week will be best in many regards.  It's too tough, in the winter to be cooped up.  I think it's also better to reintroduce her to the orphanage while she might think of our time as a special vacation.  So really, my guilt is unfounded.  I think it's important in this journey to live true to yourself and not second guess too much.  Yes, I second guessed whether adoption was right for our family.  I think to be fair to all concerned you must look at things over and over.  But on the issues such as to stay one week extra or not... only serves to create tension.  Go with your gut!  

Well, Daddy has reached the end of his play time with little britches.  So, I need to run and re-direct her behavior... which is deteriorating.  Her fits are almost funny.  They are so fake.  You can tell she's doing it on purpose.  Oh, a funny happening today.  She is soooo proud of her scissors.  I keep finding ziplock bags with the bottom or top cut off.  Today, I found evidence that she had cut some sort of plastic bag.  When I went to throw something away in the bathroom trash...  I fund she had meticulously put a plastic bag, liner, in the trash can.  A closer look found it to be an upside down, large ziplock (I think it was one that Linda left behind).  I know how it is when people talk about their kids.  I thank you for baring with my stories and amusements.  Oh... I do need to share how incredible her "writing"is.  She will take a piece of paper and make marks that truly look like letters.  They are in neat rows, small and neat.  It's very impressive for what I would expect from a child in an orphanage...  much less, a three year old.  She never stops amazing me.  

Well, gotta go for real now.

Internet woes

I can't begin to tell you how difficult it is to get onto the internet here.  I get one bar from some distant signal.  Thus, the delay in blogs.  The biggest problem with lacking internet is in rearranging travel plans.

So, today we went to the US Embassy to check into the process from here.  I have always thought that when I would enter an embassy I would be greeted with a pat-down and super duper security.  While it was efficient,  I feel much safer with the security at the court house in Liberty.  I wanted to see armed men with mean looks awaiting me.  Instead, nice Latvian guards asked us to walk thru a scanner and then leave our cell phones with them.  We did have to go thru  2 check points, however.  

Here is what we found out...  we learned tht before the I800 can be filed for, we must receive a letter from the Ministry here in Latvia.  That will be mailed to Victoria at About A Child.  Then, we attach that copy along with a few more translated documents (translated from Latvian to English).  Once we recive the I800 approval, we can schedule a second court date.  I will travel back for that date.  Then, there is the twenty day mandantory appeals wait.  During that time, we basically cannot do much but wiat. However, if we ask during our court date to take Dina with us for international travel, we should be able to get it.  This means that she can come home if wanted.  However, she would have to be back in Latvia for a trip to the Embassy before things could be finished. Otherwise, she would never get her citizenship.  But I don't think that adding international flights to her life would be real good at this time.  

After the court date to give us physical custody of Dina, then the 20 days... we are supposed to file for her post-adoption birth certificate, passport as well as obtain a physical from an Embassy approved physician.  Our attorney said he is able to take care of this for us.  So, we will then probably come back for the third trip 30 days after the second.  I say "we."  "We" is going to be me and my sister, Deanna.  She will be a great help on the trip home.  She and I will also travel a bit earlier to Europe (Slovakia) to see Robert and Veronika as I haven't seen them since July:(  Then the work starts trying to get Veronika into the states on a visa of some sort.  

The social worker, aka judge came here today at 10am.  I must confess to this very close call... we all slept over today!!!  Dina woke me at 9:30am with her usual... "Mama, caca."  Thank goodness she did!  She was eating breakfast while getting dressed, while I made the bed, etc...  the judge got here right as we were brushing our teeth... phew!  I could just imagine her asking Dina what she had for breakfast.  Yikes!  Of all the days to oversleep.  

The visit went great.  The judge spoke with Dina first.  I guess at one point she asked her if she liked her Mommy and Daddy.  Dina replied that "yes," and she wasn't going anywhere.  That's my girl!  By the end of the visit, the judge hugged me, several times, and said she found it an honor to meet people like us who would adopt a little girl with special needs.  Apparantly  she never met Linda... my hero!!!  

I must tell of the afternoon we spent today. At nap time (conveniently), Dina needed to use the toilet once she settled into bed.  So, I sat her on the toilet.... where she stayed for an hour and a half.  Just when we thought we were done, nope!  It's difficult for her to get things "out."  So, this afternoon I fed her grape juice:) Hopefully tomorrow she will get a nap.

 I want to emphasize how much I believe God has had his hands all over this adoption and my dream as a child to one day be here.  EVERY choice we have made has been protected by HIS grace.  Victoria, you will never know how very much we have grown to respect you.  You have been EACTLY what you said you would be from the first day I contacted you.  Which, was scary.  It's like calling a plumber, but more important.  You never know if you're going to get into something bad or not.  So, you close your eyes and jump.  Thankfully, we landed at your door.  In addition, we knew it would be tough to have everyone we know understand this decision to adopt a girl, halfway around the world with special needs.  Had my sister, Deanna not been supporting us from day one...  this little girl may not have a home.  It has been tough.  But Deanna has helped us to keep our focus and assured us that we were deserving of this journey.  I also couldn't have done this if not for my Mom being so tough as to over overcome stage 3 lung cancer this past year and being well enough to care for my baby boy.  It was so tough to leave him.  But when you know things are taken care of at home, it is okay to go forward.  Finally, my adoption buddies, Natalina and Linda have been such amazing resources and comfort sources.  Having Linda come before me has been so lucky.  By the way, great minds think alike.  I went to leave my Downy, fabric wrinkle release in the bathroom. But Linda had already left hers!  Funny!  

I hope you will all understand that this adoption is not about JUST Brent and I making this journey.  This little girl, our Dina, has had angels looking after her.. you are her angels.  Just as she puts the pieces of her puzzles together...  we, including you all, have taken a sorted puzzle and each of us had placed a piece (or more) into place.  There is no end to those who have "adopted" this little girl.  We have all done this together.  It's an honor for US to know the judge, the lawyer, the little lady at the orphanage, the doctor, the translator, the intake agent at our agency, the lady at USCIS, the lady at the post office who shared my enthusiasm each time I would mail a package of paperwork, my Rotarian friends, the girls at Starbucks (and guys) etc...

I guess you know what I am saying.  Thank You is certainly not enough.  But we do "thank you" for helping our family find it's way together.  I have to go now.  Brent wants me to check the MU score while I have internet service.  KU is playing right now... I think I'll surprise him and tell him who wins that game too... that should be on the internet too:)

Hugs ,

lisa