Last full day with Dina for awhile

So here it is, Thursday.  Today has been such a mellow, lay low kinda day.  Brent hasn't been able to adjust his sleep since arriving.  Which means he cat naps all day and night without much "real" sleep.  Well, today we let him sleep until 3:30 in the afternoon.  So, while he slept, Dina and I played quietly and went about our business.  I let her watch the Baby Mozart DVD.  She was really interested.  I think the Baby Einstein videos would be a great addition to orphanages.  Since there's no words... they work for any country.  

I haven't quite figured what to expect from myself tomorrow when we leave her.  I find I am in a "matter of fact" type mode.  It is what it is.  I think I will miss seeing her sleep and her silly grin most.  Of course, if she takes it hard... then count me as good as mush.  I have tried in my own way to prepare her.  We fly the little airplane around and I make motions that Mommy and Daddy will go on it to maja (home) and then I show her a picture of the orphanage and tell her she will go there to her maja for now.  We follow it with Mommy and Daddy coming back in the airplane and to her maja to get her.  She actually seems to understand a bit.   They are so good to her at the orphanage... it's like having several nice grandmas.  I think I would worry more if she wasn't so favored there.  But she is a superstar around that place.  And around here!

But... back home is waiting Carson.  I talked to him last night.  He is sad and missing Mom and Dad.  He has been ill with ear infections.  That doesn't help.  My mom and sister were great about handling everything though.  That makes me feel soooooo much better.  

Tomorrow we leave here at 20 till 10:00 to go to the orphanage.  We then head to court on the country.  It takes about an hour and half to get there.  Then, our flight leaves at noon on Saturday.  There's really not much more to today's thoughts than that.  I just hope to enjoy the day as we have the last several.  She is sitting here as I type.  Daddy is up now so I think we will head out for our daily walk.  

Brrrrr

Well, it's another cold day, here in Latvia.  I admit that I expected it to be worse, though.  I figure it's about 25f.  It's not so bad except when walking to our fave rest which is several blocks.  I want so bad to take Dina to the park.  I don't dare though with her asthma past.  She's been so great in spite of the limited sources of entertainment/activities.  Basically, we do a lot of crafts each day.  She will play in the "tub" usually twice a day.  We read a lot of books to learn new words.  She is still bringing me my phrase book when I don't understand her.  So funny!  We also play playdough and moon sand at least once a day.  That's her favorite activity.  

We are learning about discipline the past two days.  She has "spanked" Mommy a few times.  Then threw her toys in protest to picking up.  The the issue came at nap time.  Really, her tantrums are equal to about a second of naughty time, not much more.  But still... I remember the training expressing how she will try to "test" me.   So, we start with the stern look and talk.  If that doesn't get it, we graduate to the "grounding" from a favorite item.  She HATES that!  So, it works great.  She learned after the second time that we mean business.  Then, she has to say "sorry" and she pats me where she hit me and gives me a kiss.  Darn the luck.  She is so adorable that it's hard to keep a straight face.  She wants so badly to just play and have happy time.   Which is about 98% of the time.  

I was worried about her behavior and emotions about being out in restaurants and such.  She does so good!  We enjoy good food out and about.  So it was important for a new child to be able to adjust to being with us.  She is so mannerly and calm.  I seem to refer to my pre-adoptive training quite a bit when introducing things or just in general.  It has been great to have the knowledge to be able to assess if there are any issues we will need to be aware of.  I don't think we will have to worry too much about attachment or sensory issues.  But I won't be so quick to settle in.  I know with my foster children it took a while before I could really tell what was what.  

Well, we finally rearranged our travel plans.  I feel somewhat guilty about leaving her early when I don't have to.  But I think in the end... staying one week will be best in many regards.  It's too tough, in the winter to be cooped up.  I think it's also better to reintroduce her to the orphanage while she might think of our time as a special vacation.  So really, my guilt is unfounded.  I think it's important in this journey to live true to yourself and not second guess too much.  Yes, I second guessed whether adoption was right for our family.  I think to be fair to all concerned you must look at things over and over.  But on the issues such as to stay one week extra or not... only serves to create tension.  Go with your gut!  

Well, Daddy has reached the end of his play time with little britches.  So, I need to run and re-direct her behavior... which is deteriorating.  Her fits are almost funny.  They are so fake.  You can tell she's doing it on purpose.  Oh, a funny happening today.  She is soooo proud of her scissors.  I keep finding ziplock bags with the bottom or top cut off.  Today, I found evidence that she had cut some sort of plastic bag.  When I went to throw something away in the bathroom trash...  I fund she had meticulously put a plastic bag, liner, in the trash can.  A closer look found it to be an upside down, large ziplock (I think it was one that Linda left behind).  I know how it is when people talk about their kids.  I thank you for baring with my stories and amusements.  Oh... I do need to share how incredible her "writing"is.  She will take a piece of paper and make marks that truly look like letters.  They are in neat rows, small and neat.  It's very impressive for what I would expect from a child in an orphanage...  much less, a three year old.  She never stops amazing me.  

Well, gotta go for real now.

Internet woes

I can't begin to tell you how difficult it is to get onto the internet here.  I get one bar from some distant signal.  Thus, the delay in blogs.  The biggest problem with lacking internet is in rearranging travel plans.

So, today we went to the US Embassy to check into the process from here.  I have always thought that when I would enter an embassy I would be greeted with a pat-down and super duper security.  While it was efficient,  I feel much safer with the security at the court house in Liberty.  I wanted to see armed men with mean looks awaiting me.  Instead, nice Latvian guards asked us to walk thru a scanner and then leave our cell phones with them.  We did have to go thru  2 check points, however.  

Here is what we found out...  we learned tht before the I800 can be filed for, we must receive a letter from the Ministry here in Latvia.  That will be mailed to Victoria at About A Child.  Then, we attach that copy along with a few more translated documents (translated from Latvian to English).  Once we recive the I800 approval, we can schedule a second court date.  I will travel back for that date.  Then, there is the twenty day mandantory appeals wait.  During that time, we basically cannot do much but wiat. However, if we ask during our court date to take Dina with us for international travel, we should be able to get it.  This means that she can come home if wanted.  However, she would have to be back in Latvia for a trip to the Embassy before things could be finished. Otherwise, she would never get her citizenship.  But I don't think that adding international flights to her life would be real good at this time.  

After the court date to give us physical custody of Dina, then the 20 days... we are supposed to file for her post-adoption birth certificate, passport as well as obtain a physical from an Embassy approved physician.  Our attorney said he is able to take care of this for us.  So, we will then probably come back for the third trip 30 days after the second.  I say "we."  "We" is going to be me and my sister, Deanna.  She will be a great help on the trip home.  She and I will also travel a bit earlier to Europe (Slovakia) to see Robert and Veronika as I haven't seen them since July:(  Then the work starts trying to get Veronika into the states on a visa of some sort.  

The social worker, aka judge came here today at 10am.  I must confess to this very close call... we all slept over today!!!  Dina woke me at 9:30am with her usual... "Mama, caca."  Thank goodness she did!  She was eating breakfast while getting dressed, while I made the bed, etc...  the judge got here right as we were brushing our teeth... phew!  I could just imagine her asking Dina what she had for breakfast.  Yikes!  Of all the days to oversleep.  

The visit went great.  The judge spoke with Dina first.  I guess at one point she asked her if she liked her Mommy and Daddy.  Dina replied that "yes," and she wasn't going anywhere.  That's my girl!  By the end of the visit, the judge hugged me, several times, and said she found it an honor to meet people like us who would adopt a little girl with special needs.  Apparantly  she never met Linda... my hero!!!  

I must tell of the afternoon we spent today. At nap time (conveniently), Dina needed to use the toilet once she settled into bed.  So, I sat her on the toilet.... where she stayed for an hour and a half.  Just when we thought we were done, nope!  It's difficult for her to get things "out."  So, this afternoon I fed her grape juice:) Hopefully tomorrow she will get a nap.

 I want to emphasize how much I believe God has had his hands all over this adoption and my dream as a child to one day be here.  EVERY choice we have made has been protected by HIS grace.  Victoria, you will never know how very much we have grown to respect you.  You have been EACTLY what you said you would be from the first day I contacted you.  Which, was scary.  It's like calling a plumber, but more important.  You never know if you're going to get into something bad or not.  So, you close your eyes and jump.  Thankfully, we landed at your door.  In addition, we knew it would be tough to have everyone we know understand this decision to adopt a girl, halfway around the world with special needs.  Had my sister, Deanna not been supporting us from day one...  this little girl may not have a home.  It has been tough.  But Deanna has helped us to keep our focus and assured us that we were deserving of this journey.  I also couldn't have done this if not for my Mom being so tough as to over overcome stage 3 lung cancer this past year and being well enough to care for my baby boy.  It was so tough to leave him.  But when you know things are taken care of at home, it is okay to go forward.  Finally, my adoption buddies, Natalina and Linda have been such amazing resources and comfort sources.  Having Linda come before me has been so lucky.  By the way, great minds think alike.  I went to leave my Downy, fabric wrinkle release in the bathroom. But Linda had already left hers!  Funny!  

I hope you will all understand that this adoption is not about JUST Brent and I making this journey.  This little girl, our Dina, has had angels looking after her.. you are her angels.  Just as she puts the pieces of her puzzles together...  we, including you all, have taken a sorted puzzle and each of us had placed a piece (or more) into place.  There is no end to those who have "adopted" this little girl.  We have all done this together.  It's an honor for US to know the judge, the lawyer, the little lady at the orphanage, the doctor, the translator, the intake agent at our agency, the lady at USCIS, the lady at the post office who shared my enthusiasm each time I would mail a package of paperwork, my Rotarian friends, the girls at Starbucks (and guys) etc...

I guess you know what I am saying.  Thank You is certainly not enough.  But we do "thank you" for helping our family find it's way together.  I have to go now.  Brent wants me to check the MU score while I have internet service.  KU is playing right now... I think I'll surprise him and tell him who wins that game too... that should be on the internet too:)

Hugs ,

lisa

 

1st day/night

As I look across the room I see this adorable, three year old girl, dancing to some sort of Latvian or perhaps Russian music.  I hope it's rated G!  She has been , probably, one of , if not THE best behaved, most calm, friendliest, well balanced child I have EVER met.  We can't get over feeling that she has been with us since day one of her life.

But day one for us obviously didn't start in a hospital, though it very well could have.  Rather, we signed on the dotted lines to take her for the week and she was led into the room, prepared to go with... in her words...  "mommy and daddy to go home."  I tell you, she is smart.  Otherwise, the orphanage has one heck of a prep program.  

They sent her with a bag full of very nice clothes.  Including six diapers and new undies!  Once back to the flat, we settled into comfy clothes, slippers and then it began!  Baby Alive, I am not kidding!!!  I have changed A lot of diapers the past day, spent numerous hours in the toilet "getting it all out."  and so on, and so forth.  Needless to say, this is the hardest adjustment to make quickly.  But one well worth making.  It is odd to me that I haven't minded at all... not even after settling into bed three times just to keep getting back up and down.  I was TIRED this morning.

She is over chatting with Daddy right now.  The language barrier hasn't been an issue AT ALL!  She is picking up a lot of English as well as communicating easily back to us in Latvian.  I feel it is best to meet her half way right now.  She was trying to tell me something last night in Latvian that I just wasn't picking up on.  So then she clearly said "book" and then went to get my translation book.  I tell you, this girl is SMART!!!

I have so much to tell... but according to her schedule, it is walk time.  So, I will hope to post more at her nap time (if she cooperates today with this one).  

Ciao for now

Okay, we are back from our walk, lunch and potty time.  Little Miss Dina is (supposedly) taking a nap.  I have caught her with the light on and a book.  At least she has a book.

Brent ran to the store and is now back... being noisy.  I bet I catch her with eyes wide open.

Lunch was nice.  Seems to me that a small, anything, here is actually a super size in the US.  Yikes!  So Dina had a crepe and soup for lunch with a shake.  Man can she put away the food.  She finished all but half the soup.  Again... they were huge servings.  

It is soooo cold here today.  After several layers, hats, gloves and a scarf, we were still cold on the walk.  It is sunny, however.  People here have been so friendly.  I had expected them to not smile etc...  They smile, they don;t mind us not speaking Latvian or Russian and are generally quite helpful.  As far as a vacation goes...  it is nice.  There's not enough historical sites etc, to make it  along vacation.  But combined with other cities; it would be great.  As for adoption, it is remarkable.  I cannot say enough good to someone considering this  country (or our About A Child) for adoption.  We feel very lucky.

I am hoping to talk to Carson James later.  Also Robert.  Since we are leaving early, I am trying to convince Brent to visit Slovakia before leaving for home.  Finger again crossed.  It would seem silly not to visit more of Europe while here together.  

Well, for now I need to go.  Brent needs to work on the computer.  I look forward to telling more adventures... oh, before I go, Dina has a bit of soul sister in her.  She was a dancing queen at lunch.  She seems to like a strong beat and some groove to her music.  

Later, Lisa

On Meeting Dina

So, today was not only my birthday, but one of the most amazing days of my life.  It was so simple, yet so profound.  I think my belief and faith in God just jumped to a completely unheard of level.  To even think about this event is mind boggling.  But to be a part of it... well, that is something completely different.  I am so honored to have been chosen to care for this little girl.. a little girl, half way around the world... who I never would have met if EVERY single step had not been planned and ordained by God.  Oh, and having a super star, adoption agency hasn't hurt either!!!  

So, we arrived at the orphanage.  It is a four story, limestone, stately building.  As you walk up to the door, you can see a fenced, playground area with large outdoor, play equipment.  It was the first sign that we struck gold.  Out of all the orphanage, stories, of things that could be bad ...  we found a clean, well equipped, well run, actually very lovely home for children.   We entered the building and were asked to wait in the lobby area.  The entire building smelled like wonderful, home cooked food.  We hadn't eaten lunch so it made me VERY hungry.  It was as clean inside as outside.  There were a few, mostly older, women bustling about to and from.  Soon, the woman who was standing in for the Director, escorted us to her office.  There we were met by the orphanage doctor and psychologist.  

Our interpreter assisted in relaying a short biographical history of Dina from the director's assistant, followed by the doctor and psychologist reports.  I admit to having tears in my eyes when thinking of the good news we were given about Dina's condition.  In addition, my heart felt full of amazement at the strength of her birthmother, who obviously very much wanted her... it seems she would visit Dina often for several months.  However, she very much accepted that she could not care for Dina.  I will always feel indebted to her for her selfless bravery.  

Oh, before I move on... a little funny... when they told us the doctor and psychologist were coming into the room my first thoughts were... "what if the language barrier keeps them from getting a clear perspective of us during their exams of us?"  Okay, so I was a little paranoid...  it never dawned on me to think they were there to tell us about Dina!  I chuckle now.

After the information session, we were led into the nearby room to meet her...Dina... 

after one year of paper-chasing, one year of looking at her photo and telling it... as though she could hear me... "mommy is coming soon."  Here we were... and there she was.  It's such a surreal experience.  Not overly emotional, just... surreal.  My first impression was that she was so much smaller than I thought she would be.  I had pictured her on the big side.  Her hair was more blond and her eyes... a deep, dark blue.   She was playing contently on the floor as we entered the room.  We were introduced by the Doctor as "Aunt and Uncle to visit her."  Then Dina was asked to shake our hands to say "hello."  She did so, very politely...until she came to me.  Then she ran into my arms and smiled as big as she could while hugging me.  We were all taken aback.  I swear to it... it felt to me as though her hug was recognition of my promises to come for her."  I will never be able to adequately express this moment in my life.  It was just as a birthing experiencing that only a mother and her child experience.  Please know, I don't intend to leave my husband out of this picture... he was very much there with us... this was just a daughter and mother moment.

We played for a bit with Dina and then the doctor, came back for us to lead us to her office for a look at Dina's physical situation.  Please know, we are just so thankful that things are better than we had imagined.  I think this is one thing I picked up from other adoptive parents.  I have read so many times how parents went on their adoption journey expecting medical conditions to be worse than they actually were.  I just knew this was the case with Dina.  This was something I researched and researched and spoke with doctor's about before the trip.  All the research and conversations took me to the same place... we will have to see her or get more information to tell you more about the possible outcome.  But I had this "feeling" from the first time I gave her a second look... I knew it would be okay.  Again, thank you to God for the little ways He has of speaking to us.

Another very special moment came when Dina was coloring in the doctor's office.  The doctor asked her what she was drawing and she said...  "mommy."  The picture was a black, mark of some sort... which DID look like me... I was wearing a black outfit.  

Then, as soon as we arrived, we were leaving again... with hugs for me and then for Brent(yeah!!!), we left her for the day.  

We then walked around old town Riga with Viktoria.  I promise to talk more of the city on a future blog as this one is already so long.  Needless to say... it is a city that was in existance since 1200 AD!!! So it rich with history and beauty.  The fish market is NOT so beautiful.  Great fish, but YIKES!!! They were some of the most odd looking things I ever saw.  I just have to mention the half fish, half worm thingy...that was still ALIVE and trying to breathe without any water!!!  It was even grosser than the kidneys and the livers and the other gross stuff down the aisle from it.  Linda...you know what I'm talking about...  Gross, huh?

Well, after a long drive to orphan court. we met with the judge and were granted permission to take Dina for one week to know her better and for her to know us better.  We were expecting two weeks...so this was a great surprise.  We feel this is so much better for all concerned.  Of course, there will never be a good time to "give" her back while we finish the paper chase.  But the wait will soon show us the glory in the entire plan... which includes the waiting time.  For those who may read this and are yet to reach this point in the journey... please know, it's much easier if you keep living your daily life as usual and hope for the best.  Of course... don't leave ANYTHING unknown...such as if your paperwork arrives where it should, when it should etc...  ALWAYS follow up!

Well my kind readers, I need to leave for the evening.  My husband and I are going to enjoy a movie.  Of course, we have to watch it via the computer.  Oh well, it shows us how much we DON'T need that we have back home.

Adieu~

Finally in Riga, Latvia

Hello family and friends!  Wow...what a long day.  It's technically, the next day in the evening.  But...It's seems to me it's still the 27th of January at about 8:30pm.  We were able to get lots of sleep on the plane.  We upgraded to the economy plus on United.  Great idea!!!  We figure it to cost as much as a very expensive massage with a big tip... something we would be in dire need of if not for upgrading.  We have a few obstacles here.  My phone is not working and my charger to my computer buzzes when I plug everything in with the adapters.  I'll figure it out tomorrow.  

The city is very nice.  Very clean and trendy with many stores and good food just down the street.  The apartment is great.  Linda... thank you for leaving a few goodies behind.  I won't have to blow up the beach ball since you left yours:)  This apartment is in such a great location and so clean and comfy.  Victoria did good.  

So...what you are all hoping to hear about... tomorrow at a quarter till nine... Victoria will pick us up to take us to the orphanage.  We will first meet the director and then...  my baby girl.  We drove past the orphanage on the way from the airport.  It is such an odd feeling to know your daughter is there and you can't be there.  Victoria and Bruno said most of the babies in the orphanage go from one orphanage to another after they turn two.  Then onward at age four or so.  Dina has been in the same orphanage the entire time.  They said it is due to her medical conditions and the fact that she is soooooo smart.  You have to love hearing things like.. "smart, helpful and friendly" when talking about adoption.  As great as all that is... I am very sad to know I will be a part of "taking" her from the only family she has ever known.  I know it is the best thing for her.  But I think we can all agree.. we are not use to tearing kids away from those they love as though kidnapping.  For all she can understand, it is just that.  I hope all reading this will pray for her and for her caregivers in addition to us over this very tough situation.  

I am not going to post long tonight as we tomorrow is such a big day.  She will really cry if some weird woman shows up with scary dark circles under her eyes!  I'm also a bit worried that I will lose the email contact before getting to email you all the address of this blog.  So for tonight... goodnight.  

Deanna, tell my baby boy his mommy loves him.  I'll get photos out tomorrow if possibe.